i'm super sad right now kasi eto na ata yung pinaka malungkot naming monthsary. 2 days ko na syang di nakakausap kahapon di ko alam kung nakatulog ba sya or what kasi as usual naghintay nanaman ako i even texted him kung tatawag ba or hindi but no reply, nag reply 1 am na, tapos ngayon naman no text at all!!! kahit tawag man lang, may cell na lahat lahat di pa magawang magsabi kung maghintay ako or what, actually di naman ako galet ngayon eh, super nalulungkot lang talaga ako kasi monthsary namin ngayon kahit bati man lamang di nya magawa, di ko alam kung nagalet sya kagabi sa kin kasi di na ko nakapagreply dun sa last text nya or what eh. nawalan naman kasi ako ng load na kagabi eh.

di ko alam kung galet sya sa kin o ano eh. ang gusto ko lang naman eh konting time lang, yung tipong maramdaman mo naman na iniisip ka pala nya. alam kong busy ka bhe, naiintindihan ko yun, onting time lang bhe, onti lang di ko namn kukunin lahat eh. gusto ko lang talaga i spend yung oras na toh kasi bhe pag umalis ka na minsan na lang kita makakausap, chaka bhe every moment na nangyayari sa tin ngayon could be our last. yun lang ang gusto ko bhe, selfish na ba ko? onting oras lang bhe.

gusto ko sanang i spend tong araw na toh na kasama ka bhe, yung tayong 2 lang kasi katulad ng sinabi ko sayo lahat ng gagawin natin ngayong araw na to could be the last date na pwede nating magawa syempre before you leave din naman eh gusto kong magkaroon tau ng magandang memories na if ever di man tau magkatuluyan atleast naging masaya tayo sa last day na yun. kaso nga ayun busy ka ok lang naman sa kin yn bhe, onting time lang talaga kahit tawag lang bhe ok na ko dun.

i'm sorry kung naiinis ka na rin sa kin pero kasi yun lang talaga gusto ko bhe, kung nahihirapan kang ibigay yun bhe sabihin mo lang para maayos natin. alam mo namang mahal na mahal kita bhe eh. simple lang talaga yung mga gusto ko bhe, onting time lang ok na ko, kahit nga di na tau magkita eh makausap lang kita ok na ko. basta mahal na mahal kita bhe. sorry na lng kung nainis ka man or napikon sa kin, sana din maintindihan mo ko.

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sad lang me today kasi ayun nga di kami pwedeng lumabas ng friday, super na sad lang me kasi it could be the last time na magcecelebrate kami ng monthsary, could be the last day na manood kami ng movie together, na kumain sa labas and could be the last day na i could spend and enjoying time with him. basta everything na pwedeng mangyari sa min on that day could be our last day of doing it. it just make me super sad... and kahit i try kong i grab yung every opportunity na pwede still parang me pumipigil na ewan kaya nakakasad talaga. bhe sorry kung lagi kitang inaaway... sorry... nalulungkot lnag kasi ako sobra eh kaya parang minsan madali akong magtampo or maiininis,,, sorry bhe. love naman talaga kita sobra eh. and tungkol dun sa ring thanks talaga na aapreciate ko din yun sobra. :)

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i'm so sick of feeling this way. i just need some hug, i want a hug for the mean time i'll just cry.

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hayz, nainis naman ako ngayong araw na toh ang daming ewan na nangyari. nainis naman ako di naman kami masyadong nakapag usap :( una naligo next jumerbs di na lng pinagsabay kc. nainis naman ako, syempre ayoko ng tumawag noh nakakahiya gabi na eh sa min naman tulog na yung mga peeps for sure di pa nga yun tapos jumerbs ngayon e. actually naguguluhan me ngayon na nalulungkot na natatakot na ewan, basta di ko ma explain yung feelings ko, ang daming kong questions na di ko alam yung sagot na ewan basta na sasad na ko. :( gusto kong mag spend ng time kasama sya kaso walang panahon kaya phone calls na lng sabi nya practice na raw basta ewan ko. halo halo yung feelings ko na ewan kasi parang wala naman talaga akong magawa talagang ganon eh. basta super sad lang me ngayon :(

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medyo nagtampo na naman me knina sa kanya kasi naman noh dating gawi na naman bah. tapos ayun tumawag lang para magpaalam na matulog nakakakinis talaga. tapos sabi nya pupunta daw syang laguna, ayoko nga, oo me tiwala me sa kanya pero pag sila ni rodyel magkasama wala. pano naman kasi akong magtitiwala eh me mga instance na kaya kami nag aaway eh dahil nakakgawa sya ng ayaw ko pag magkasama sila, di naman sa sinisisi ko si rodyel but still kilala ko sya pagdating sa kaibigan di sya nakakahindi pag dating sa kanila lalo na sa mga ganyang lakaran. dati nag away kami kc uminom sila ang reason eh nagkayayaan lang. pano kung magkayayaan sila gumawa ng milagro bigla dun, yun lang ang idadahilan nya sa kin.

super nakakainis kasi talaga eh, di ko lang pinahahalata sa kanya pero sa bawat araw na gumigisng ako gusto kong i urong ng 10 bese pa yung mga days kasi malapit na syang umalis. nalulungkot talaga ako ayaoko lang ipakita kaya nga gusto ko na sanag sulitin yung 2 weeks na natitira eh. kasi syempre di namin alam kung anong mangyayari sa min at kung kelan kami ulit magkikita. ngayon super iniisip ko na talaga yun.

naungkat pa kanina yung past. bhe sorry kung medyo inisip ko yun.usto ko na rin namang bumalik talaga sa dati eh kaso natatakot ako bhe, kasi hanggang ngayon nasasaktan ako pag naalala ko silang lahat bhe. masakit pa rin sya ng onti bhe, di pa sya ganong nawawala kaya pag naalala ko nasasaktan talaga ako at feeling ko angd ami kong pagkukulang sau, kaya sorry.

bhe super love kita promise. di mo lang alam pero love talaga kita.

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wala me ibang pinost dito sa blog ko kundi yung mga reklamo ko at inis ko sa kanya. i'm so selfish na di ko rin nakikita yung mga mali ko pagdating sa kanya. tama sya sa sinabi nya kanina pag inis ako sa kanya di ako nag sasabi ng i love you, minsan ko lang masabi yun sa kanya, tapos puro pa ko reklamo. sya never sya nag reklamo. i'm so selfish talaga.

bhe love talaga kita, i'm sorry kung di ko masabi sayo lagi... pero love talaga kita... so sorry kung selfish me. :(

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yesterday was a not so perfect valentines day, almost everything is messed up and did not go according to plan or should i say my expectations. i was uber excited about this day and thought that it will be a great and perfect but it didn't fall that way. a lot of things went wrong and i was a little disappointed because i expect to much to happen on this day based on what he told me on the phone couple of days before valentines day and to the fact that it was supposed to be a double celebration for our 15th monthsary together.

i expected it to be wonderful and romantic with sweet but simple stuffs from the flowers until the dinner date but i was disappointed because some of it only happens and not to mention it did not go well too. i mean every girl is expecting and would love to receive flowers on that day even though she keep saying that she doesn't want it, she really does expects it you know. i was really expecting him to give me one because since we have gotten back together he still haven't given me any flower even during our anniversary nothing. during our anniversary it's fine i understand it because were busy doing our thesis back then so i totally understand it but yesterday i was really sad not to see one. i was really sad because that's the only gift i was expecting to receive that day but sadly i did not. every girl that passes me by or every flower shop that we walked on by i just don't know what to feel either jealous, sad or pissed of just by seeing them. thanks for the free kisses on terreyaki boy i've got a small remembrance for that day.

we were supposed to have our picture taken yesterday but i was so pissed off that i really don't want to do it. next to the cinema, he took the lower part or deluxe part instead of the upper or primiere part. i really don't like the lower part because i have a hard time watching the movie because all i can see was the head of the person in front of me. i would love to hug him since he was scared but i just can't see it so the only thing to do was to hold his hands.

i wanted to cry yesterday so much but then i still have to be thankful for his effort and sweetness that he gave me. all the kisses and hugs inside the van. that's the only moment that i treasure that day. then after that the pizza. he promised me a week before that we would eat pizza during that day but then he just forgot it again. i was trying to hide my disappointment yesterday but i guess i was not that good because he seems to notice it though. i wanted to have a dinner date really but then it did not happen because the mall is closing and i was the only one who was craving for it so i just decided to buy dinner for myself and just eat at home. later that night i told him what i felt and he already knew it. he was apologizing but i guess the problem was on me, i expected too much of him, i expected a lot from what he had told me. so sorry bhe. i knew that material things is not that important but sometimes it is also necessary, i was only asking for flowers, i will be fine with that but it's already in the past now and right at this moment i still hate roses and pizza coz they remind me of that day.

i was really sad yesterday but i was happy too since i had the chance to be with him again. and even though the day is so messed up i really do love you bhe and wanna thank you for it. i will just wait for the day that you are going to perfect our valentines day just like you said and i just hope that you would not forget it and were be able to make it until that day. i love you bhe so much!

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